Happy Valentines Day, I love you

Metta is the cultivation and practice of loving kindness or compassion. It is an expansive heart centered meditation practice with tremendous possibilities for self transformation.

I googled metta in hopes of giving you a link. In my google search I found some information, but there was nothing I have found yet that stresses the important fact that I do not want you to move on to the more advanced steps of loving others until you have mastered loving yourselves. I did find some grand advice about only loving and serving others and the world through compassion and non violence, which is beautiful and noble. However, I DO NOT recommend it with out a strong foundation for loving yourself. Practice every day for a year before moving on to loving others. I have experience in moving to the next steps before I was ready and I only caused myself harm and inhibited my ability to give loving kindness.

Remember the yamas and niyamas are practiced in thought speech and action towards the self as well as others. You are included in the universe of beings so if you are not loving yourself you are not loving a part of the universe.

To practice sit comfortably. Breathe and focus your attention. Focus your attention on your self and how you feel in your body, how you feel emotionally, and observe your mind without judgement. Is it still, active, focused, spacey? Observe your body mind and emotions without judgement as a way to check in. Then turn your attention to your heart. Check in with how you feel in your heart center. If there is a feeling of compassion there you may focus on it. If you want to repeat the following phrases feel free.

May I be Happy
May I be Well
May I be Peaceful
May I be Free from suffering

If you repeat the phrases and it cultivates the feeling of compassion for yourself continue...

If you chose not to repeat the phrases or you would like to try to cultivate the compassion first try the following...

Bring to mind an act of kindness from you to another, or from another to you and concentrate on that act as you watch the feeling in your heart.

Or you could think of a person, child, baby, or pet that makes you feel loving kindness. Dont chose a complicated relationship because other feelings may come up and Dont judge yourself.

When the feeling of compassion is present and strong you may chose to repeat the phrases to keep your mind focused and allow the compassion to grow. Or you may chose to focus on the feeling and allow it to open and expand. It may grow throughout your whole chest, your whole body, your aura, or the whole room and beyond. Dont judge yourself if it is difficult or easy. Just allow yourself to bask in whatever amount of compassion there is. Direct it toward yourself. Believe me, you deserve it.

After a period of time 5, 10, 20 minutes or so take a deep breath and bring your attention back to the room. You can allow the compassion to remain and continue to direct it toward yourself as you move throughout your day. Just make sure you are directing it toward yourself, especially if you are experiencing a challenging moment. Protect yourself with it. Dont allow your heart to remain open with no protection. If you need to imagine a flower closing for the evening in your heart center until you have time to sit formally again.

If you like Metta continue to practice everyday and remind yourself throughout your day to practice compassion toward yourself.

After a year of practicing everyday you may extend your compassion to a friend, a loved one, an enemy, and eventually all beings, but not before your foundation for compassion toward yourself is strong and solid. This is the most important step, do not skip it.

With loving kindness, Kim

musings on breath...

Here are 2 different ways I use inhalation and exhalation...

In this one contracting on the exhalation - bringing the belly in and up, lifting up on the pelvic floor and diaphragm, and then contraction the muscles in between the ribs for a more full exhalation...

These last few weeks we are working with the breath...specifically the exhalation. Control of the exhalation, I am told, is where the power of health and well being lies. Practice contracting on the exhalation and completing fully the exhale, then relax, allow expansion and the breath to flow back into the body. In this way we tone the middle and create strength in our center.

In this next one we use the exhalation to relax the body...

The exhalation also serves to relax the body. What is a sigh? It is an attempt to release tension. The more relaxed the body, the more healthy, the more efficient, the more effective. Allow the exhale to relax you and the inhale to invigorate you. Try consciously allowing tension to flow out during the exhalation. For more on exhalation and relaxation see post from 10/22/09 "Exhale and Relax."

If I taught hour plus classes I would take some of the class time for formal breathing exercises. I demonstrate them once in a while for my students who would like to practice them at home. Since I teach in places that allow only hour classes, instead of formal breathing exercises, I would like my students to learn to breathe in a way they can take with them throughout their day. I ask them to concentrate on their breathing throughout the hour and work with the particular concept through out the class if it is appropriate.

I used to have a neighbor that worked at night and each night someone would pick him up for work and beep the horn outside my front door. It was annoying for a while and then I realized it was a regular sound in my environment. I used it like monks use bells in meditation. To remind myself to come into the moment and breathe consciously. Are their regular sounds during your day in your environment that could remind you to take a deep breath and come into the moment?